It’s Halloween! Time to Get Your Pimp on! (Not Really…)

A cartoon rendering of a large, purple pimp's hat.
Halloween may glorify a lot of things that really aren’t cool in real life, but let’s make sure we’re all on the same page about sex crimes!

With every passing year, the issue of Halloween costumes gets more fraught with controversy. Issues like over-sexualization of children, ethnic and cultural appropriation, and violence are buzz words every year around this time. But we don’t want to talk to you about that (if you really want to read about it, you only have to scroll through the social media of your choice for 30 seconds before you hit on a treasure trove of opinions, so have at it!) The issue we want to discuss with you today is a little more clear cut – how Halloween costumes represent the law in Michigan. Specifically, the issue of being a pimp, and sex crimes in general!

You can be anything for Halloween (including being a pimp)!

It’s the one time of year where can literally be anything you want. A doctor, a witch, a superhero or a zombie, the choices are infinite. Obviously, some of those choices are fun because they simply aren’t available in real life (yes, we love the Walking Dead too, but that doesn’t change the fact that zombies aren’t real!). But some of them are, and let’s face it – it’s a little disturbing. Choosing to be a pimp, a prostitute, a serial killer or an assassin might sound like fun, but in real life, those choices would land you behind bars in Michigan!

If you can be anything, choose to not be arrested for Halloween!

You think plastic skeletons and haunted houses are scary? Not compared to a criminal record for life and time in the big house? Seriously, prison is way more frightening than a few latex heads and some fake blood. So here are a few things to keep in mind this year when selecting your Halloween get-up:

  • Fancy Pimp Costume:

Being a “pimp” is against the law in Michigan. You can dress up like one, and pretend to be one (though seriously, why would you?), but you can’t ever actually do it! Pimping anyone out (also called ‘Pandering’) is illegal in Michigan and punishable by up to 20 years in prison! Plus you’ll end up on our Michigan Sex Offender Registry!

  • “Happy Hooker” Costume:

You can buy a “sexy hooker” outfit online for around $20, but the real cost of prostitution in Michigan is much higher! Anyone busted for Prostitution is looking at up to 93 days in jail for their first offense, but it only gets worse after that! Plus, prostitutes are frequently assaulted, both by their clients and by their pimps. It’s not a glamorous job and not a safe one either. 

  • Serial Killer/Assassin Costume:

When you think about it, “Assassin” is just a fancy word for a hired killer. And a ‘serial killer’ is just a person who murders again and again. In Michigan (as in most places), murder is illegal. So while you can be a ninja assassin or a serial killer for Halloween, you can’t be any kind of killer at any other time. Not unless you also want an orange jumpsuit and a cell in maximum security for the rest of your life. By the way, if you choose to have a costume that includes a gun or other weapon, be absolutely sure that the toy weapon cannot be confused with a real weapon. Members of the general public as well as police officers need to quickly be able to tell a real weapon from a toy weapon. Which brings us to our last costume…

  • Prisoner Costume:

Although the “black and white striped chain gang member” and the “orange county jail inmate” are both common costumes, neither are any fun in real life. If you’ve been convicted of a sex crime (or any crime for that matter) and you’re serving time, it’s no laughing matter. Being in jail or in prison are awful experiences and we wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So if you choose to be an inmate for Halloween, we hope that’s the only time you ever have to wear the orange! Again, be sure that police officers and ordinary citizens can easily tell that you’re wearing a costume rather than being a real inmate that escaped from a lockup somewhere in Michigan. 

Being convicted of a sex crime in Michigan is truly scary stuff!

It doesn’t matter where you come from in Michigan, whether it’s Lansing, Kalamazoo, Grand Rapids, Port Huron, or the Allegan County area, being charged with a sex crime means trouble! If you’re facing sex crime charges, or a loved one is being accused of prostitution, pandering (being a pimp) or any other sex-related crime, call us immediately at 866 766 5245 (866 7NoJail). The skilled and experienced sex crime defense attorneys at The Kronzek Firm have decades of combined experience and have navigated countless successful cases on behalf of their Michigan clients over the years. So don’t wait. Call us right now and let us help you!

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